IFS for Anxiety & Panic: What a Session Actually Feels Like (With Mini Role‑Plays)

Struggling with anxiety or panic attacks? This guide shows exactly how Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy helps—step by step. You’ll see what a real session looks like, learn quick “unblend and soothe” moves, and watch role-plays that make the process click. Instead of fighting anxiety, you’ll discover how to lead your inner system with compassion, calm the panic cycle, and build a plan you can use in stores, meetings, or on the freeway. I offer IFS-informed therapy via secure telehealth across California.

Quick Snapshot

• Goal: Shift from “make anxiety stop” to lead your system so anxiety doesn’t have to scream.

• How: Name the part → Unblend → Befriend → (Optional) Heal what it protects → Rehearse new choices.

• Format: 50 minutes, paced, no flooding. We go only as fast as your nervous system can stay safe.

The Session Flow

00–10 · Settle & Choose a Target
10–25 · Unblend & Get Curious
25–32 · Appreciate & Negotiate With Protectors
32–40 · Learn to Befriend Your Anxious Part
40–50 · Discover How This Part Got This Role

00–10 · Settle & Choose a Target Part

What We Do
Short check‑in. We pick the one anxiety that’s loud today (panic while shopping, argument with a partner, bedtime spirals, Monday scaries). We notice how it’s impacting your body and give it a nickname so it’s easier to work with.

Why It Helps
One target part = focus and less overwhelm.

Mini Role‑Play

Therapist (T): “As you recall yesterday’s near‑panic in the grocery store, what do you notice in your body now?”
You: “Tight chest… like a clamp.”
T: “Let’s call it the Clamp. If it could talk, what would it say?”
You: “Get out now—something’s wrong.”

10–25 · Unblend (You ≠ Your Anxiety) & Get Curious

What We Do
Create a little space so your calm, curious Self can meet the anxious part without getting swept away. Simple body‑settling: longer exhales, feel your feet, look around and name three neutral objects.

Why It Helps
The moment anxiety is witnessed instead of fought, it becomes workable.

Mini Role‑Play

T: “See if you can be 10% separate from the Clamp—as if it’s next to you on the couch.”
You: “It’s still tight, but I can see it.”
T: “How do you feel toward it from here?”
You: “Annoyed.”
T: “Is a part of you annoyed with the Clamp?”
You: “Yes. It makes me very uncomfortable, and I wish it would go away.”
T: “That makes sense. A protector part sees how this Clamp makes you uncomfortable and wishes it would just go away.”

25–32 · Appreciate & Negotiate With Protectors

What We Do
We thank protective parts (Perfectionist, Planner, Critic, Avoider) for working so hard. We learn to appreciate how they’re trying to protect you from the Clamp and recognize that they haven’t been able to make the Clamp go away.

Why It Helps
Protectors soften when respected. They like the idea of us helping with anxious parts, like the Clamp, that take over.

Mini Role‑Play

T: “Can you ask the protector if it has been able to make the Clamp calm down?”
You: “It hasn’t been able to help the Clamp. It usually just tells it to shut up.”
T: “If we could help the Clamp feel calmer, would the protector like that?”
You: “Yes. Then it wouldn’t have to work so hard.”
T: “Okay. See if the protector will give us some space so we can work with the Clamp in a new way that actually brings it help.”
You: “Okay—the protector gave me space.”

32–40 · Learn to Befriend Your Anxious Part

What We Do
If protectors agree, we briefly meet the anxious part and learn how it got this job, what it fears, and what it’s protecting.

Why It Helps
Every part of your personality is valuable and important. You learn to build a new relationship with this anxious part and stop going to battle with it. Instead, you learn to befriend it and help it so that you can experience less anxiety. Being with that feeling—safely, in small doses—reduces the need for alarm later.

Gentle Role‑Play

T: “Ask the Clamp why it believes it’s so important to squeeze around you like it does.”
You: “It is trying to warn me that I’m in serious danger. It wants to protect me.”
T: “From your calm Self, let the Clamp know you’re here now and that you see it’s been trying to protect you.”
You: “I let it know. It loosened its grip on me and seems a little more calm.”
T: “Ask the Clamp what it’s afraid would happen if it didn’t do its job.”
You: “It’s telling me that it fears I will be caught off guard and hurt by people around me.”

Note: The way we interact with your parts will be completely unique to you and your life story.

40–50 · Discover How This Part Got This Role

What We Do
Along your life, this part learned that the role is important and necessary for survival. Most likely you endured a painful event where this part had to step in to protect a more vulnerable part of yourself.

Scripted Rehearsal

T: “Has the Clamp had this job for a long time?”
You: “Yes. I’m having a memory from when I was 13 and my father attacked me and humiliated me in public.”
T: “So this part got this job when you were 13 and your father attacked you. Why was it so important that it became the Clamp?”
You: “I was young and terrified and didn’t know what to do or say. This part helped me turn inward and hide from him. It helped me shut down and close myself off.”
T: “Can you see why it was important for the Clamp to do this?”
You: “Yes. The Clamp saved my life because if I had responded with anger or engaged him in any way, the abuse would have been even worse.”
T: “Can you let the Clamp know that you can now see how it protected you for all those years?”
You: “It feels appreciated for the first time, and now I can see that it’s not a Clamp—it’s a younger part of me that was trying its best to protect me.”

Why This Is Safe & Effective

• Consent From Your System: We collaborate with protectors; we never bulldoze coping.

• Titration: Short, contained doses teach your body, “I can feel this and stay okay.”

• Fits Real Life: We rehearse the exact moments when anxiety usually spikes.

• Life‑Honoring: We discover how your parts got these jobs and increase your self‑compassion.

• Transformation: You learn to relate to your internal system in a new way that improves your mental health and transforms your relationship with yourself. 

Not a crisis service: If you’re in immediate danger or considering self‑harm, call local emergency services or 988 (U.S.).

Ready to Feel Different Around Your Anxiety?

If these scenes sound like the kind of help you want—practical, compassionate, paced—I offer IFS‑informed therapy for anxiety and panic (telehealth across California).

→ Book a free 15‑minute consult to map your parts, choose a target, and leave with a personalized panic plan you can use the same day.

Work Cell: 408‑430‑7638
Email: clevengercounseling@gmail.com